Have a Great Air Force Day!!

[info]

Someone sent me this today. I added some comments. It's pretty negative, but sometimes.. you just have "one of THOSE days." :)

 

 

 

Have a great Air Force Day

 

or... what I love about life in the AF.....

 

 

1. Yesterday sucked, today sucked, tomorrow is going to suck, and this seems to be a pretty solid forecast for the rest of my enlistment.

 

2. Spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year training for something that there is a 99.9% chance that we will never do. (And for that, I'm grateful.)

 

3. WWWDWOA? (What would we do without acronyms? After 11yrs I still only pretend to know half of them. My favorite is FIGMO: F9ck it, I Got My Orders.)

 

4. Taking simple daily tasks and breaking them down into nuclear physics before doing them. ( And then providing a detailed checklist. And watching as people still do them wrong.)

 

5. Having to attend a brief prior to carrying out any task more complicated than picking my nose. Oh and don't miss that briefing to brief the upcoming briefing. (Sometimes I create unnecessary briefings. Just to fit in. You know, for those days when wearing the same clothes as everyone else just isn't enough.)

 

6. Being a personal servant to any one of the 300 thousand people in the air force who out-rank me. (Not so much anymore. Now I have the "personal servants!)

 

7. Being an adult and having somebody inspecting me everyday to make sure I put my clothes on properly, and put my shoes on the right feet. (Some days it's even necessary!)

 

8. Having to wear a "cover" or hat, every time I want to go outside. (Hat hair FTL)

 

9. I love cleaning the same places over and over and over until either the paint comes off or my hands are bleeding. (That's called "attention to detail")

 

10. Without the air force's influence and good teaching, I would never have realized that you can sweep water with a broom for hours. (This is how airmen learn how to curtail that pesky "freedom of speech" like, super fast.)

 

11. There just isn't that many jobs out there where you can rest assured that everyone you work for is just waiting to screw you over any way they possibly can. (Somehow I kinda doubt this one. Jerks are everywhere.)

 

12. Even though we can deploy and be in Mogadishu within 48 hours it takes finance 3 weeks to fix your paycheck when the computer randomly selects you to get Airman Basic pay. (NOT OUR FAULT...HAHA)

 

13. Getting to pick out my clothes whenever I'm not at work. (Takes me forever.)

 

14. Getting to eat meat that comes in boxes labeled "not fit for human consumption" and "for institutional use only." (MRE's make you stop pooping.)

 

15. Getting "random" drug tests every couple of weeks. Not many people can testify to taking about 50 drug tests in the past two years without having ever been caught doing drugs in my life. (I've peed in front of more people than a critter at the zoo.)

 

16. Waking up every morning and going to "staff meeting" where a piece of paper is read to me even though it is posted on the wall and on the offices internet, both of which I have access to. I guess I can't read.

 

17. Going to medical complaining of severe heart and chest pain and being told to come back during "sick-call" the next day. Did I mention the natural cure-all Motrin? (On the plus side, I don't know what they gave me when I got my wisdom teeth removed, but.... TY! <3)

 

18. I love the fact that my opinion has about as much influence as my sister's pet iguana's.

 

19. Ever try and put in your 30 days notice? (I have. Doesn't work.)

 

20. You do not have to respect the person, you have to respect what they wear on their collar or sleeve. (Fortunately, this works both ways.)

 

21. No matter how many water safety briefings I get they'll still send me to the desert.

 

22. I hate good food.

 

23. I love the "you are U.S. ambassadors" speech.

 

24. I hate spending time with my family.

 

25. Not only getting to do my own job, but getting stuck with as many additional duties as my chain of command wants to give me. (Never let anyone know just how competent you really are.)

 

26. Having to change your computer password every two weeks to keep terrorists from hacking into my e-mail and stealing all of these jokes.

 

27. When you get out you will only be 38-40. You still have your entire life ahead of you. Yeah, okay, I want my life to start at 38.

 

28. For the last time! Would someone please tell me where the local

area ends? (PLEASE??)

 

29. Oh, look...There's the boss. We better all stand at attention until he tells us we can move. Do they do that in the civilian world too? (Best part is when the boss forgets to tell you that you can move again. All you can do then is wait for him to leave.)

 

30. Is that local time or Zulu? (Or server time? lol)

 

31. I want to work somewhere that has total control of my paycheck so that they can take half if I don't pay my bills.

 

32. If I get in trouble out in town I would like to get woken up the next day at 6 am and have to stand in front of my boss, manager, assistant manager, and anyone else who has nothing better to do so that they can all chew my *butt*. (This is actually tons of fun, if you are the one doing the *butt* chewing.)

 

33. Can we be tested to make sure we are physically-fit every year only please make exceptions to this for enormously fat 30+ year old Senior NCO. (People want to see Rambo, not Crisco. GAWD.)

 

34. Where else can you pay taxes to pay your own paycheck? (Does this mean I'm self-employed?)

 

35. You take an oath to support and defend the Constitution, and after that the Constitution doesn't even apply to you. (Freedom of speech? I vaguely remember what that was like, in the brief period between living at home and joining the AF)

 

36. Because only during magic shows and air force working hours are the rules of logic suspended. (And in either case, you still don't get to ask "How'd you do that?)

 

37. Because no-matter how stupid you are, you will eventually get promoted by ac**no no word**ulating points from not getting promoted. (This is actually my plan for making MSgt)

 

38. Where else can you be given shots by people who claim to practice medicine that didn't even graduate from high school? (Jail?)

 

39. Where else can you get your teeth drilled and f9cked up by those same people even though you've never had a cavity? (True story.)

 

40. Because if you've had enough of the military for one lifetime and you want to quit, you can rest assured that the air force will do everything it can to make that impossible. (Another true story.)

 

41. Because it's fun to go to medical to get your eyes checked out and have the tech point a light in your eye for ten minutes until you are blind and then to hear them say, "that was cool, let's try the other one."

 

42. Why did our parents even bother giving us first names? (Because they actually had high hopes for us? )

 

43. In what other job can you do things NOT the RIGHT WAY, but the AIR FORCE WAY? (Probably... only the Air Force?)

 

44. Sitting around twiddling my thumbs all day long until about 4:00pm, even though I finished all of my work by ten in the morning is really fun to do every F8CKING DAY...it builds character. (And the days I'm actually busy? I'll b*tch about that too)

 

45. Who really wants to have any control over their life anyway? (Totally overrated.)

[Edaun Ifor]

Off you go into the wild blue yonder... ;)

 

Where else can you earn all that money for college while forgetting everything you learned in high school?

[info]

Off you go into the wild blue yonder... ;)

 

Where else can you earn all that money for college while forgetting everything you learned in high school?

34115[/snapback]

 

 

LOL... Next time I see a Security Forces member, an Air Traffic Controller, or just about anyone who works out on the Flightline, I'll be sure to ask them when they have time to attend college anymore. :P

[Edaun Ifor]

LOL... Next time I see a Security Forces member, an Air Traffic Controller, or just about anyone who works out on the Flightline,  I'll be sure to ask them when they have time to attend college anymore.  :P

34116[/snapback]

Looks like someone has finished all their work early....

 

 

"MSgt, this TSgt needs some busy work!" :ROFL:

 

 

- hope you're "at lunch"... :giggle:

[info]

I sit at my desk at lunch. Any other questions? I've got about 20 mins left.

[Astrus]

 

...Air Force has the best looking logo of all the branches.

 

....that is all. B)

[Edaun Ifor]

I sit at my desk at lunch. Any other questions? I've got about 20 mins left.

34121[/snapback]

I too sit at my desk at lunch. No further comments. :P

[Edaun Ifor]

 

...Air Force has the best looking logo of all the branches.

 

....that is all.  B)

34122[/snapback]

/agree.

 

It's SNAZZY!!

 

 

edit: ....and if it weren't for the US ARMY AIR CORPS, there would BE no USAF.

 

USARMY turned 233 on Saturday...Happy belated B-day...Go ARMY!!

[info]

 

...Air Force has the best looking logo of all the branches.

 

....that is all.  B)

34122[/snapback]

 

 

That is does.

 

It's a shame that most of todays Airmen couldn't tell you what the parts of the symbol stand for. Or recite the Airman's Creed.

 

Somehow at 30, I've become "old school".